


Poison on Our Lips

by GlamAssKiddo



Category: Saw (Movies)
Genre: Drinking, In which i wax poetic about adam, Lawrence hates Adam's smoking habit, M/M, Smoking, Smoking Kink, but it's weirdly beautiful and erotic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 23:52:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9852593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlamAssKiddo/pseuds/GlamAssKiddo
Summary: Adam smokes. A lot.





	

Adam smokes. A lot.

  
It bothers Lawrence, of course it does, it’s been bothering him ever since that night in the bathroom, but he’s mostly kept quiet about it. It’s not his business if Adam likes poisoning his own body. Adam seems to remember Lawrence’s objection to his habit, and avoids taking smoking breaks when they’re together, so Lawrence doesn’t say anything. They’re both still too raw (God knows his own coping mechanisms aren’t any healthier), and this thing between them is too new and already too complicated for Lawrence to risk ruining over a stupid pet peeve. And yet, there’s still one thing he just cannot get over…

  
“Hey, Adam? Do you think you could stop smoking before we go out? It’s just that I can taste it on your mouth and…” he hesitates as Adam raises an eyebrow across the table.

  
After a beat, Adam just shrugs, “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

  
Later, when Lawrence drops Adam off at his apartment and, as usual, leans in for a goodbye kiss, Adam pulls away. “Thought you didn’t like my breath, _Larry_.” He’s shut the car door before Lawrence can even think to stop him. Lawrence only sighs, watching Adam try to find his keys, and drives home.

  
The next few times, however, Adam greets him with a sudden and deep kiss, and his breath tastes clean. Lawrence only thanks him by kissing back even harder, and if sometimes he can still catch a hint of tobacco buried under too much mint, well.  
At least he’s trying.

  
—

  
It’s rule number one once they move in together: no smoking indoors. It’s a reasonable enough demand, Lawrence guesses, and Adam seems to agree, quietly setting his ashtray on a bench in the garden. Sometimes Lawrence watches from the window as Adam goes out to smoke, the light from his lighter distorting his features, the way he shakes in the cold under the moonlight. There’s a beat between each drag, a small second when Adam stares without focus at the wall, and the badly concealed pain on his face almost prompts Lawrence to run out into the snow and drag him back inside, back into the warmth and into his arms, but then it’s already gone. Adam breathes in his poison and lets pleasure wash over his face, breathes out the smoke to the skies.

  
—

  
They don’t fight that often, surprisingly enough, but today’s already been a shit day for Lawrence, between work and the divorce, and he honestly can’t remember what they were arguing about, only Adam shouting and swearing and he’d snapped, shouting back at his boyfriend until they both had sore throats and tears in their eyes. Lawrence had shut his office door so hard he’d felt the house shake a bit, and tried to get ahead on the report he was supposed to write over the weekend, but he couldn’t. Three hours later, he’s still staring at the same unfinished paragraph, almost drifting into sleep, when he decides to stop waiting for Adam to come in and apologize. He’s too old to play these bullshit games, no matter how stubborn he wants to be, and there's no point trying to maintain his pride around a man who saw him at his most desperate.

  
The angry punk rock music coming from the living room doesn’t surprise him in the least, but the stench he feels in the hallway is almost enough to bring back his earlier fury. He bursts in to find Adam calmly lounging on their couch, still as a statue, lit cigarette in his hand, the windows all closed just to make sure Lawrence won’t get rid of the smell that soon. Adam moves very slowly, taking the cigarette to his lips and inhaling, then turning to stare at Lawrence with a defiant look before blowing out right on his face. Lawrence doesn’t say anything, but the door is victim to abuse yet again as he leaves.

  
If he never feels Adam lie down beside him that night, Lawrence guesses it’s for the best. The sofa’s comfortable enough, and apologies can always wait until the next morning.

  
—

  
“You should stop smoking.”

  
“You should stop drinking.”

  
“You know what? Sure, I will.”

  
Adam stares at Lawrence in confusion, eyebrows furrowed and eyes wide. They’ve had this conversation dozens of times, hundreds even, and after a while, as the complaints and arguments kept getting more repetitive, they managed to abridge the whole ordeal in two sentences, never bothering to go on after that. And, of course, never bothering to actually do it– or at least until today.

  
“What?”

  
“I mean, why don’t we do it together? You throw out your Marlboros, I throw out my Johnny Walkers...”

  
“Are you serious? Cold fucking turkey?”

  
“Why not?”

  
Adam keeps staring at him, searching Lawrence’s face for signs he’s joking. There’s a long pause until he shakes his head, laughing. “Oh what the hell. Let’s do it.”

  
It takes a little over two weeks before Lawrence finds a pack of cigarettes hidden under Adam’s CDs, and walks downstairs for a confrontation, only to find him with Lawrence’s hidden beer cans in his hand and a smug look on his face.

  
Still, once in a while Adam gets nicotine patches instead, and once in a while Lawrence just asks for a cup of water at restaurants. It never lasts more than a couple days, but well.

  
They’re trying.

  
—

  
Lawrence grabs at thin air when he feels Adam leaving the bed by his side, but the man’s already gone. He lies with his eyes still closed, listening to the bare footsteps on wood moving around their room, the sound of fabric being shifted around, and only speaks up when it’s clear Adam’s not coming back. “I was really hoping we’d get to cuddle for more than ten measly minutes.” He opens his eyes just in time to see Adam give a dismissive shrug.  
Adam’s gone out onto the balcony, and Lawrence can see what he was looking for among his clothes: he’s already got a lit cigarette in his hand, and Lawrence should complain, but he can’t help appreciating the view he’s given. Adam’s bending down to rest his arms on the railing, the curves of his back steadily guiding Lawrence's gaze to his ass. It’s a hot summer’s night, and the sweat clinging to his nude body makes him almost glisten under the moonlight. The pleasure in his face is too reminiscent of the faces he made while coming, only a few minutes earlier, and the sight, combined with the fresh memories make Lawrence feel himself stir again, much sooner than he’d expect to at his age and– _oh_ isn’t the way Adam wraps his lips around that cigarette just wicked?

  
“Hey, love? Are you sure you don’t wanna switch that for anything else?”

  
Adam turns and gives him a devious smile from the balcony, and Lawrence’s starting to believe he may not hate smoking as much as he previously believed.


End file.
